Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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