Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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