I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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