She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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