Say something about gay babies.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
