I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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