I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
