are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
