I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
