I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Drunk is not a location!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
