Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
