He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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