You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
