i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
