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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  You have a very discerning palate.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.

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• (510): View more from California

  Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.

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• (650): View more from California

  It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo

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