I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
