I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
