gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
