Heybabeimwearingurpanties
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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