i think i have herpe
just one?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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