So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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