Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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