NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
