For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
