butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
