Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
