Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
