There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
