soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
COCAINE IS GR8
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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