Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
