so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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