Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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