Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
