I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
