Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
