I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
