..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
