I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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