he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
