I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize