also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
