I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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