so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
