I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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