I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize