You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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