She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
