Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize