i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize