just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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