my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
