i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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