you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
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It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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