omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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