"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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