I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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