I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
