its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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