I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
